I keep sleeping in. I can’t seem to stop it. I don’t understand why it’s happening. I have so much to do, and yet I’m sleeping instead of doing it? I’ve gotta get out of my head, and get my work done. It’s not even really that much. I just have to do it.
1/10
When I wake up, the pillows are gone. They’really usually on the ground. Sometimes at the bottom of the bed. Why do they get there? I don’t know. The point is, it isn’t as bad as you would think.
I wake up in comfort. Things feel good. I mean as much as they can. I still wake up with the knowledge that everything I do is pointless, bit I’mean kind of comfortable at least.
At some point in the night I begin to hate pillows. The cycle works. I go to bed with pillows comfortable. I throw them away in my sleep. I wake up with no pillows, still comfortable.
Great.
7/10
My alarm is set for a specific time. This is the time I wake up. No earlier. Sometimes later.
Apparently though, the sun thinks it’s all that, and that it has control over when I wake up. It peers through the curtains, and headshots me, right in the goddamn eyes. 149.6 million kilometres away, and it manages it get me right in the eyes. It woke me up. It woke me up before my alarm.
I like having a schedule. I like having a time to wake up. Now sure I don’t always get up at that time, but I do wake up. I don’t want to be waking up earlier. That’s now how it works. So I’m pretty annoyed at the sun. Why does it think it’s better than me? Because it is literally in the center of the Solar System? Because the magnetic field it generates is far superior to mine? Because it is far hotter than me? Okay the sun is actually better than me.
I concede.
2/10
For someone that hates sleeping so much, why is it so hard for me to get up? I wake up when my alarm goes off, but it never feels like enough. I wake up annoyed, my body refusing to move. I then fall back asleep and wake up with my next alarm. Sometimes I get up then, but most of the time I sleep, yet again. At this point I become annoyed again, but not at waking up, instead at myself, for not getting up. Every day this is a continuous cycle. Yet it doesn’t change.
It is as if when I wake up I’m reloaded into consciousness, and along with that comes all the dread of every day life. There’s always this split second where I forget who I am, that is then removed as I remember how disappointed I am, all the dumb things I have to in that day, and how pointless everything is. I relish the split second where I don’t remember those things. It never lasts long enough.
I consistently resolve to get up when I first awaken, but it never seems to work. I guess I need more motivation to get me out of bed, like one of those alarms that doesn’t stop or something.
2/10
I usually hate sleeping. It takes so much time. The benefits barely ever seem to outweigh the negatives. But now, when I’m sick, it’s the only thing that feels worth doing.
Apparently sleep is good for you when you’re sick. Rest and all helps you recuperate. But that doesn’t mean I enjoy it. Quite often while sick I will try and go about my day as per normal. I hate not being able to do stuff. All that happens is I make myself worse, I continue this until finally I have to stay in bed, and I have to sleep. For it is all that is left for me to do.
That’s where I am now. Sleeping, because it’s all I can do.
The low drone of those sweet chords brought my consciousness back. Not that I wanted it back. I flicked the alarm off, and forced my body out of bed. It was 7:30am, I had ten minutes. I got dressed, grabbed my stuff, and stumbled out the door.
I don’t think I was fully awake until I sat down in the lecture room. It was empty bar for myself. I questioned whether I was in the right room, but decided to wait until 8am to find out. I was right, everyone else was late. Including the lecturer. Only by five minutes sure, and it didn’t really bother me.
My eyes had begun to drift at this point though, I made a note to drink some coffee next time. I have to do this eleven more times over the semester. Coffee will be necessary.
The class seems good though. The lecturer speaks clearly, he makes sense, although he does speak fairly quietly. But then again, it was 8am. The first thing he did was apologize for the early class time. Apparently he doesn’t like it either, he just has no choice. Thankfully the topic is interesting enough to keep me going. Investigative Journalism. It’s worth getting up at 7:30 for.
Today was only an intro to the topic, but immediately we learnt about journalist Wilfred Burchett and his reporting on the bombing of Hiroshima. An inspirational story, and a great place to start in Investigative Journalism.
I am looking forward to the rest of the semester, even though I have to wake up early every Monday. Knowing that the lecturer also dislikes it helps me feel a little better though.
7/10
I have class at 8am tomorrow. I finished work at 10pm, only getting home at 10:30pm. How do you fall asleep quick enough? I am just lying here waiting until it happens.
Of course writing won’t help, nor will staring at my phone reading. But when nothing is happening at all, isn’t it necessary to fill the time? Aren’t I just wasting time, waiting to fall asleep?
2/10
I feel like I’ve wasted my entire day off. It’s a public holiday. I was free to do whatever I wanted. And I slept in.
It’s because I stayed up until 4am last night playing Overwatch. In one way I didn’t even losr any time. But it feels like I did.
I still got a bit done. Did some work on my essay, played through some games. But I can’t shake the feeling that the day has been wasted. Why is that?
5/10
I Review Everything 